I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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