What a fucking waste of an outfit
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize