i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize