Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize