Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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