ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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