Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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