is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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