Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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