I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
