I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
