I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
