quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
