For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
