Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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