so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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