Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry about my life...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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