I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My vagina is officially offended.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
