oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
