i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Drake has all the answers
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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