The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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