I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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