i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
