spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
