I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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