apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize