What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
