she woke up with a sticky ear
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
