That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize