pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
