Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
