Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize