her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
