I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
