He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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