i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
