Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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