apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
