the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize