can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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