i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize