I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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