brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
