party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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