Buhtt sex?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
birth control should be required to get into college
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
