I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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