How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
