She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize