It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
please don't ironically join a cult
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