I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
