Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
