I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I puked a lego.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
