Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
