do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
