just tell him i said nine months
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
