Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
