alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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