how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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