i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
