and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
