i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
