nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
