Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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