Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
