I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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