we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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