I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
