Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
