i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
