I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
